Daily Archives: November 18, 2011

My brother died twenty-one years ago today.

He’s now been dead longer than he was alive (though I guess technically that rubicon was crossed in April or May; I am unsurprisingly loath to do the math properly).

I’ve long since gotten used to the world going on without him, though there was a time when it seemed inconceivable that it could. Inconceivable, and unfair.  Unfair that he didn’t get to live a long, full life, and unfair that I don’t get to share mine with him.  I’d have loved for my sons to have known their uncle.  #2 reminds me of him almost daily, from the roundness of his cheeks and the twinkle in his eye to the great joy he takes in, well, joy.

I keep meaning to scan some pictures of him.  The thought reminds me just how long he’s been gone.


To:  #2’s 4k Teacher

How was he yesterday? He was EXHAUSTED when he came home from school, and pretty much napped til bedtime, waking up only to be cranky and tearful about every little thing.

He was much the same this morning, but insisted on going to school, and since he wasn’t physically sick, I agreed. I just hope he isn’t a sad crankypants for you all day.



From:  #2’s 4k Teacher
To:  Ratphooey

#1 did warn me this morning, but so far so good!!!